What a honeymoon is really like
Updated: Feb 1, 2019
I had a picture in my head of what our honeymoon would be like.. Not a detailed picture with vivid details of all the perks we would profit from and all the fun we would have, just a vague idea of a blissful and romantic getaway. And yes our honeymoon was perfect because I got to spend it with the man that I am going to be with for the rest of my life! Tons of love, adventure, romantic sunsets and delicious rum punch.
But, in a world where nothing is ever what it seems, I can assure you that a honeymoon is not like in the movies.
Here is a top 10 of our not so romantic moments ;-)
1) When you feel oh so not just married in Economy class
As newly weds we unfortunately didn't get an upgrade to business class which meant we still had to choose between chicken and pasta in Economy. So why not just pay for it right? Look, we just got married and we were broke! And the so called honeymoon fund we created was to pay all of our wedding bills of course.
No I did not even get a gin tonic on our transatlantic flight home. Worse, I asked for it and the flight attendant said 'that's 8 dollar please' and then had to downsize to a free white wine. Cruel right?!
2) We you get stuck in Dallas for 24 hours
It all started with one sick passenger on the first day travelling to Dallas, where we had a connecting flight to Guatemala City. Our flight got diverted to Chicago because he or she needed urgent medical assistance. I honestly hope that he or she is doing fine now but we of course missed our connecting flight and got stuck in Dallas for 24 hours! The ground staff of American Airlines were really not helpful at all and when we finally made it to our hotel we were completely broken from travelling, running, waiting and being treated like idiots by AA. If the president of the USA can use this word then I will do too. Dallas is a shithole. For sure. The only joy we had during our delay was making our own waffles at breakfast and watching my fruit loops slowly coloring my milk. I even had seconds. Yay!
3) When a scorpion ruins your romantic evening
Also very romantic is finding a scorpion in your hotel bedroom. Next to the bed. On your side on the bed. When you are already in your PJ's and walking around barefooted. I'm not going to tell how this all ended but I'm pretty sure he is now in scorpion heaven. And I'm sorry for that but I was really scared...
4) When you have an upset stomach while climbing a volcano
Can someone please slap my husband for thinking that going to McDonalds the day before climbing a volcano was a good idea? Only five minutes after finishing my burger I HAD TO GO... So later that evening I took a pill or two but during our 2 day stay on the Tajumulco volcano in Guatemala Huggies became my best friend ;-). Fun fact: there was a no-waste policy meaning I took the used napkins back down. Oh well, that's what honeymoons are for.
5) When you have to share a tent with your guide
On that same volcano trip, we only realized that we had to share a tent with our guide, while unpacking our backpacks at about 4000m high. Thank god he made a mean mac 'n cheese with veggies, otherwise I would have filed a complaint. Haha no just kidding, just no newlyweds cuddling under that sky filled with stars.
6) When there is mist and rain at Lake Atitlan
Ok so the picture here above is OK. Not spectacular at all, but interesting enough to look at. I kindly ask you to use your best Google skills and look for images of Lake Atitlan.
And, did you?
Well, as you can see, breathtaking pictures of sunrises and sunsets that you can perfect categorize in that #nofilter category. Even though this Lake and the people living in the small villages surrounding it totally stole my heart, we did experience some bad weather while staying there, and there for our pictures taken here don't live up to our expectations. As in I DID NOT SEE ONE SINGLE VOLCANO where this lake is so famous for due to the mist. Oooops :)
7) When a romantic walk on the island turns into a mosquito trap
Ah Caye Caulker in Belize. The perfect setting for a romantic getaway, snorkeling, the best Rum 'n Punch in the world and so much more. Not the mention the picturesque pastel houses that are perfect for your pink or turquoise and orange Instagram preset filter ;-)
On our last day, we had some time to spare. Active as we are, we decided to walk all the way south, as Caye Caulker is a small island where everything is within walking distance and where cars are very very absent.
At first it was fun spotting the occasional bungalow and sea birds while walking along a small dusty road, or should I say path, through threes. But then whole of a sudden you find yourself in a mangrove area with thirsty mosquitoes. The kind that you try to slap away but end up sticking on your body anyway. Result: nasty mosquito bites all over our body. Fail!
8) When you think you are going to be kidnapped by Mayans (kinda)
Visiting the beautiful ruins of Tikal should definitely be on your to do list when going to Guatemala but it takes it a bit of preparation in order to get in. We first had to buy special entrance tickets at a specific bank to be able to enter the park before sunrise. You also need to book a guide.
After a 14 hours bus ride from I don't know where to Flores (a city close to Tikal), we had to rush from the bus station to a specific travel agency to book a guide before 9pm. We voluntarily paid too much money to grab a taxi but booked the guide just on time.
We stayed at the Tikal Jungle Lodge, which is the only hotel inside the park. Since you are really in the middle of the jungle, lights and internet go out between 10pm and 6am.
So at 4am in the morning after being woken up by howler monkeys, we waited in a pitch dark hotel lobby. We waited. And waited. Had a bite of our undefinable sandwich from our breakfast package. Waited some more. No sign of the guide. We. I mean I...started panicking and thinking that our whole Tikal experience would be ruined and that we would be kidnapped by Mayans or eaten alive by some kind of exotic specie. Well kinda, you get the picture ;)
Oh and the guide did turn up. We basically had to run through the park to be able to see the sunrise... So much for a romantic morning walk. Oh and did I mention it was a cloudy morning? Goodbye sunrise experience :)
9) When you have to go back to work the next day
As a PR manager I can't take a lot of vacation (which is GREAT when you have a travel blog haha), and somehow always book my vacay as precise as possible. Meaning I always have to go back to work the next day. And the honeymoon was no exception. Torture! On the positive side: I did not really suffer from any form of jetlag and I still have some vacation days left to go to Venice soon! Bellisimo!
10) When you realize you are broke
After a wedding and a honeymoon, total bankruptcy was upon us.. But.. as cliché as it may sound, we went home with a suitcase full of memories and a ton of dazzlingly beautiful wedding and honeymoon pictures to feed our Instagram for the next ten years ;)
To travel the world is the best thing ever, but it can sometimes be scary, boring, dangerous, crazy, unbelievable. Mind blowing, exciting, fun, intense. But most of all, so very unexpected. A true adventure!
PS: this content was hubby approved and NO I don't have a picture of the scorpion as I was trying to safe my life...